Thursday, September 23, 2010


Yesterday, I lost a toenail.
Today, I contemplated pulling off the matching one on the other foot.  (It's coming off anyway!)

Today, I said FUCK a lot.  (I've decided that if I line thru the word, it's like I never said it.  So, that makes my post profanity-free.)

Last night, my son had leftover pasta for dinner and my daughter had leftover mashed potatoes.  (Yes, I am an annual recipient of several Mom-of-the-Year Awards.)  I had cereal.

Today, when I pulled into the garage and saw Jayson's truck, I thought, for a split second, that he was home.

Today, I felt better than I did yesterday.

Today, the dog completed her demolition of our sprinkler system.  If you ask her, she would rather the big tree out back NOT get water.

Today, I ate lunch around 3:30.  Does that make it "dunch"?  Or "lunner"?  Or maybe "dinch"...?

Today, I woke up to a dog gagging in my face.  Goooooooood morning!

Today, I killed a giant bee with my bare hands!  (Ok...ok...He was already dying and I picked him up by his wing and dropped him on the ground.)

Today, Sydni told me that she would like a little sister.  Um, FUCK NO.  I mean, NO.

Today, Houdini worked her magic and escaped again.  How does the dog DO that??!!  Would YOU run thru an electric fence with 2 cattle prods digging into your jugular??  Don't answer that.

Today, Sydni told me that she will NEVER get plastic surgery (picture the most disgusted look on her face that you can imagine).  EVER.

Tonight, I took a glowstick to football practice and threatened to tie it to Jaycob's helmet.  (It was dark.  I wanted to see my son.  Don't judge.)

Today, I sped up just a little when I saw a stray dog in the road.  And, later, I got the BB Gun out to shoot said dog.  I missed.

Today, I bought glittery purple and silver body/hair spray.  Why, you ask?  I have no idea.  It was pretty??????

Today, I let my truck tell me it needed gas twice.  Maybe tomorrow I'll get some.  Or, maybe, I'll just drive Jayson's (fueled-up) truck, instead.  :-)


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