Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Few Questions from Sydni

1. How do you know if a dog is Spanish?

2. If you get a glass eye, can you see out of it?

3. Is Brighton the boy who lives in a trashcan with mashed potatoes?

4. Why can't we have a fun last name? Like McDonald.

Happy Traks!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

On a positive note, we now have more room on our patio

Do you know what a large glass patio table looks like after it explodes in your yard?

We do.

Do you know how much wind it takes to break the straps on a hot tub lid and blow it into the mud?

We do. It's the same amount of wind needed to pick up a large glass patio table and explode it into millions of pieces in the yard...

Along with chairs...

And an umbrella.

Have you ever vacuumed your yard?

We have...

For 2 hours.

What a sight that must have been. a skirt...vacuuming the grass.

I am now in the market for a slate, plastic, or wooden patio table.

Happy Traks!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Running Outside

I'm a treadmill girl. I hate running outside. If someone offered a race ran entirely on a treadmill, I'd be first in line to sign up.

Running outside is scary. There are cars and dogs and bugs and heat and wind. My shoes get dirty. Birds dive bomb me. The sun burns the line on my head where I part my hair and creates the appearance of a knee brace on my leg even after I take it off.

There's no tv on Hwy 48. I have to listen to my Ipod thru my sweaty-ass headphones, instead of from the speakers on my treadmill. I don't have access to my Blackberry. In order to avoid starvation and dehydration, I have to pack my fuelbelt so full that the zipper threatens to break. (Don't call it a fannypack. It's not a fannypack.) The open road doesn't smell like the lemon air freshener in my gym - it smells like cowshit, rotten potatoes, dead animals, and car exhaust.

People look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them that I only run outside for races. They are in awe when I talk about running 10, 13, even 16 miles on my trusty treadmill. I give them my spiel about the Scary Outdoors (cars/dogs/bugs/heat/wind) and tell myself that they understand.

Running outside is scary and should only be reserved for Race Day.

Happy Traks!

Monday, July 26, 2010


Jayson spent today packing for his vacation. The office is completely full of nothing but green and tan. I can't even imagine packing for THAT LONG. Over a year! How in the world does a person do that???

How in the hell would I organize it?? I mean, seriously, normal vacation = 7 days.
7 daytime panties
7 nighttime panties (go ahead - ask me)
7 shirts
7 bottoms
And a shitload of shoes!

How do you lay out a year's worth of panties and shoes?? Of course, Jayson doesn't have to. The man will spend the next 400 days in ACU's, Boots, and PT's. But, still.....I feel the need to figure out how I would do it. I've been trying to organize it since I got home today. I spent a 6 mile run trying to figure out how I would load my suitcase (aka dufflebag). And I got NOWHERE.

I guess what that means is: I cannot go somewhere for a year. I wouldn't be able to pack for it. So, please don't ask me to spend a year traveling the country. I can't go. Thanks anyway.

Happy Traks!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

For now...he's home

Jayson got back from Boise tonight. After spending four days with the powers-that-be, he is apparently medically fit to hit the beach. :-) I find it strange, tho, that he was able to pass. The man is deathly afraid of needles, he threatens to kill people when he's hungry, and he has a hearing problem (I can only assume on that last one since he never hears what I say).

So, with the last "drill" out of the way, I guess that means the deployment is here and we're down to the wire. We've got our schedules full and plan to make the most of the time we have left. This coming weekend is the "Deployment Party" at our house. Slip-N-Slide (w/ soap), fire, and music. The Slip-N-Slide will provide solid entertainment for me, the fire will occupy the boys later in the night, and the music will be our soundtrack.

FYI: I am sitting on the front porch typing this. And sitting in my bikini bottoms and a tee-shirt. I'm sure, to passing cars, I look naked from the waist down. I kinda like it. I think I'll make this a Sunday tradition.

Happy Traks!

This should be interesting....

Alright, kids! Raise your glasses for "firsts"! I've never done a blog before. However, I can't imagine a better time for me to give it a shot. Jayson is leaving for a year, the kids are busier than ever, and I love to write. THAT combination should, in theory, make this blog a success.....for me, for Jayson, and, hopefully, for whoever YOU are. :-)

Unfortunately, I just spent the last 3 hours trying to figure this damn Blogging thing out and my eyes are starting to cross. more writing for me right now. Instead, I'm going to sneak thru my messy-ass bedroom and attempt to layout in the sun. Hopefully, I can pull-off a few peaceful hours outside without having Sydni beg me to teach her how to shave her legs. Oh, and maybe if I'm out there long enough, I can "skip" the scene where Jaycob coughs so hard that he throws up. And, Dear Copper (the-dog-that-I-didn't-ask-for).....please don't lick my feet. It grosses me out.

Happy Traks!