Saturday, December 11, 2010

Things Kids Do When They're Grounded

Jaycob and Sydni are grounded. 
They are grounded for being BAD KIDS.
They are grounded until they learn to respect ME, respect EACH OTHER, and respect MY HOUSE.
In other words, they will probably be grounded until Jayson gets home next fall.

Those of you who have truly grounded your kids before will recognize a lot of this list.
And those of you who think you've grounded your kids before will know that it wasn't really effective because your kids didn't resort to the things on this list.

NO Cell Phone
NO I-Pod
NO Internet
NO Television
NO Wii
NO GameCube
NO Playing with Friends
NO Sleepovers
NO Email

Can all result in......


1.  Find board games that you didn't even know you include one that they would be better off NOT finding since a game of sexual innuendos is probably not a good idea for an 11 and 12 year-old.

2.  Become a character from X Men while unloading the dishwasher (because that's what silverware can do to a person).

3.  Use a steak knife to stab boxes that Mom has collected in the office to use for wrapping Christmas presents.

4.  Close their sister sibling up in a giant box and push the box down the stairs.

5.  Toss a bowl in the air and count how long it takes to hit the ground.

6.  Beg to go for a run in the gym.

7.  Take all of the plastic party cups out of the cupboard and build a pyramid the size of the Empire State Building in the dining room.

8.  Wrap things....even if they don't need to be wrapped.

9.  Bake stuff - SO........MUCH........STUFF.

10.  Talk to themselves.

11.  Teach the dog new tricks (like, how to wash the dishes so that they don't have to).

12.  Tell really, really, really LONG (boring) stories.

13.  Ask to get on the computer to do "homework".

14.  Reorganize the kitchen cupboards the way they think they should be organized.

15.  Use lots of Scotch tape. 

16.  Get along with each other.

17.  Remember to tell you things that they should have told you a week ago ("The dog down the street bit my leg and ripped my jeans while I was riding my bike.")

18.  Put stickers on the front windows.

19.  Talk about moving out (while I give them suggestions on which suitcase to use).

20.  Break Christmas ornaments.

21.  Talk about poop.  Everything can be tied to poop.

22.  Take 54 minutes to complete a 3 minute task.

23.  Do their chores (after you've told them to do them 17 times).

24.  Stand in the front yard and whistle for the dog down the street.....So they can shoot it.

25.  Ask to get online to see if there's a website called

26.  Pretend your DOG is a wild boar and they are the alligator.

27.  Look thru the pictures on your laptop.  (Just like #1.....This is probably NOT a good idea for an 11 and 12 year-old.)

28.  Pretend the other kid is a camel and ride it thru the desert.

Ok.  You know what?  After writing all of this and reading back thru it, I realize this list is total crap.  Aside from #16 and #23, these are ALL things that kids do whether they are grounded or not.

So, I will change the name of the list and just be grateful for Number Sixteen and Number Twenty-Three.

And continue to ground my children.



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