Monday, August 9, 2010

What's in YOUR Kitchen Trash??

This was our kitchen trash on Saturday night.

Bloody Papertowels...check!

Empty Bud Light cans...check!

Toilet Paper Packaging...check!

Blow Dryer...check!

All of the above has an explanation. However, not all of them tie together.

Here's the story on the blow dryer...

While getting ready to go to dinner, we all kept getting a whiff of something burning. Electric? Hair? Skin? Couldn't quite tell. Until we opened the bathroom door and discovered that Sydni should have thrown this blow dryer away years ago! The room is slightly smoky, the stench is almost unbearable, and Sydni has new "layers" on the top of her head. :-) How did she not notice the flames shooting out of the dryer? Really?? Come on. I'm gonna make an executive decision and file this thing the trash.

Onto the empty toilet paper packaging...

Wellllllll................... It's trash. Plain and simple. You didn't really think I'd have a story about an empty toilet paper package, did you???? Please say no.

The Empty Bud Light Cans...

There's a good possibility that what was in these cans may have contributed to what caused those towels to wind up with blood on them. I'm just guessing.

And, the bloody paper towels...

We've spent the evening riding around in a limo and eating dinner at Sandpiper. Jayson and I have had a few drinks, but someone else (we'll call her Shanequa) has had a whole bottle of champagne and who knows what else. While Jayson and the kids and I rescue missing neighborhood dogs and return them to their owners, Shanequa heads inside. Once we get in the house, this is what we find:

Shanequa. Standing alone in the kitchen. Holding a very bloody finger above her other hand, which is only there to catch the blood dripping from above. There is a trail of blood that leads us back to the scene of the crime - a partially opened can of Havana Honey Cigars and a bloody steak knife. Hmmmmmm.....wonder what happened. This is a tough one.

But, before we spend too much time investigating the crime, I have to convince Shanequa to NOT tilt her puddle-hand towards me to show me how much blood there is. PLEASE NO!!!! Let's keep the blood right there. Here's a lifetime supply of papertowels - use them. And then you can spend the rest of the weekend with your finger in a homemade Cottonball/Band-Aid/Medical Tape cast. Fun, huh?

P.S. No worries....Shanequa still got to smoke her Havana Honey.

Happy Traks!

No comments:

Post a Comment