After that last post of mine, wherein my gameroom looked like a tidal wave of holiday decorations, some of you may be worried that my house might have eaten me.
No worries. I'm still here. (And so is the mess in the gameroom.)
I've just been distracted. Not sure if that is the right word, but.....it fits for now. Remember, back in August/September, when I referred to my "brain" as being a "car" that couldn't stay in it's lane? And I talked about driving erratically - even over the speedbumps? And I was constantly veering off the road and rolling down into a ravine???? (I sound crazy, don't I?) Well, THAT is back (whatever THAT is....). But, this time, it brought a friend.
I thought we'd met before, but I was wrong. I had no idea what Loneliness was like....until now.
I don't care for her one bit. We are NOT getting along. Loneliness is a bitch, and I have (not so) kindly asked her to leave. She doesn't listen very well, though. So now I am stuck with Loneliness and THAT (whatever THAT is) until I figure out a plan to get them to leave me alone.
In the meantime, I'm gonna try writing. Remember.......? I’m the one who made a commitment to write on a regular basis…..the one who LOVES to write……the one who decided that this year-long deployment would be easier for me if I used writing as an “outlet” (rather than drugs and sex - since the good drugs are illegal and sex, well…..that would be illegal, too).
I'm pretty sure it's THAT and Loneliness which have prevented me from publishing a single thing since January. But, since my demons have kept me so distracted, I can't focus long enough to come up with anything important enough to write about. So this is what I'm going to do:
I'm going to write my ABC's. (Maybe going back to the basics is exactly what I need.) Starting with A and ending with Z (for those of you who aren't familiar with the alphabet, A and Z are the 1st and last letters), I am going to pick one word to write about. Does that make sense? It did make sense to me, until I started trying to explain it to you. Now, it just sounds like I'm crazy. Whatever. I'll just show you........later.
Right now I need to go run. But, later, I'll show you what I mean when I start with: