WITH JAYSON HOME FROM IRAQ AND THE LAST YEAR BEHIND US, I COULD EASILY STOP WRITING. BUT THEN HOW WOULD I TELL YOU THAT MY HUSBAND CAN'T GO TO THE BATHROOM WITH A SHIRT ON AND THAT I USED OUR KITCHEN SCISSORS TO TRIM THE GRASS THIS SUMMER? So, for YOUR sake, I will keep writing. (You're welcome.)
I SHOULD WARN YOU: OUR LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS "CLEAN". SO, BE PREPARED FOR PLENTY OF FOUL LANGUAGE, DISGUSTING HUMOR, AND WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
He/she/it is the newest addition to our family. (Not the fly - the plant.)
Jaycob has been asking me for a Venus Fly Trap for as long as I can remember (literally, years). I'm not sure why I've said no in the past, but last weekend I finally said yes. And, boy, was it worth it!!!
That thing really does eat bugs!!! The only other experience I've ever had with a Carnivorous Plant was when I was a kid and watched Little Shop of Horrors over and over again. At the age of 10, I soooo wanted to believe that the movie had some truth to it, but I just couldn't get to that point of total belief. I mean, seriously, a plant that has a mouth and eats animals???!!! Nooooo. Not possible. Venus Fly Traps were right up there with unicorns and leprechauns on my list of NOT REAL ITEMS.
Well, my list has changed.
You should have seen Jaycob and I yesterday...sprawled out on the floor by the front door, thanking the fly for his service while we cheered on Veeny. It was AMAZING. If I would have known I could be that entertained by a plant, I would have paid waaaaay more than five bucks for it at Lowe's. Hell, I might have even forked over a whole ten dollars for this kind of show.
Mouth open. (I know it's not called a "mouth". Back off.)
Mouth closed - SNAP.
And we were hooked!
For at least 30 minutes, Jaycob and I watched in awe as the fly twitched, it's eyeball popped out, and maggots squirmed out of it's butt. (Did that just ruin it for you? I don't care. Think what you want. It was AWESOME!!!)
Eventually, the action died down. Veeny had had his fill and spit the fly out (minus one leg and an eyeball). So, we kept ourselves occupied for another 15 minutes by tickling the other mouths with sticks until they all snapped closed. I'll admit, I was tempted to stick my pinky finger in....just to see what would happen. But then I'd have to let Jaycob do it, too, and I wasn't willing to share. I'll just wait until one day when he's not here. Please don't tell him.
The only real letdown to the whole event was that Veeny wasn't saying "Feed Me! Feed Me! Feed Me!", like in the movie. That kinda sucked. Cuz now that I know that plants really do eat animals, I thought for sure that they could talk, too. Apparently not. Whatever. At least I know that Little Shop of Horrors wasn't a complete lie.
On a side note, I should probably mention how the fly made it to Veeny's mouth in the first place....
Jaycob paralyzed it with our glow-in-the-dark electric fly swatter (another one of our AWESOME five dollar purchases) and dropped it into Veeny's mouth. Does that make it cheating? I think not. If the fly had been outside my house, rather than inside, it wouldn't have met such a fun awful death. It's not like we were traipsing around the backyard with the glow-in-the-dark electric fly swatter hunting down anything that moved. (THAT was last week, and it was a moth that we were trying to catch.) Actually, I think this should be a good lesson for any other fly who might be considering my home as a pitstop.....
MORAL TO THE STORY:
If your kid asks you to buy him a Venus Fly Trap, DO IT.
Don't think about it. Don't question it.
Just DO IT.
Trust me on this.
Who knew maggots and bulging eyeballs could be THIS friggin' cool??!!